Oh, subconscious... you're a weirdo.

This little doll baby is my dog, Bella.  An older picture, I think I took this two years ago, but she still looks this cute, let's be honest.  I feel pretty guilty about the fact that she's alone for most of the day Monday-Thursday (and occasionally other days).  I come home and she is the happiest dog ever and full of energy and joy to see me... and all I want to do is collapse in bed.  We do have what I call "quality time" where she lays on my chest in bed and I pet her and talk to her for about fifteen to twenty minutes.  But 20 minutes after a long day in the laundry room, oy.  I feel bad.

So last night, in the middle of the night, while in a deep sleep, I dreamed that I awoke from a nap to find Bella's butt hovering just over my face and a piece of poo dangling from it.  This startled me awake out of my dead sleep, my arms whipping the covers off of me as if I was going to push her back.  She was as startled as I, and I saw her little face give me this look like "WTF, Mom?!"

I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately.  One morning, just before I was to get up, I dreamed that I was leading a horse by the reins on foot from near here to Hudson, which is a 35 minute drive.  First of all, why would I be leading a horse?  Not only am I allergic to their dander, but I am also afraid of horses thanks to being thrown by one back when I was a teenager.  Secondly, what moron calls to a horse like a dog, as I was in the dream.  Then I called a friend from work to come and pick me up in Hudson to drive me back home, but she was reluctant to do it because she lives in Doylestown which is a good 40 minutes the other direction from here.  Then I magically appeared at the place to drop off the horse, and there was this weird house with white paint chipping off the boards, and it was a house that a serial killer had lived and killed in.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am not a scary movie fan.  I rarely watch anything scary, but I would never in my right mind go into a creepy serial killer house.  And why would it be open for me to go into anyway?  So I go in this house (Of course), and I'm walking from the kitchen into this little side room, and there's this family of hand sewn stuffed dolls with like yarn hair, and I brush against one and its head freaking falls off and rolls over.  AHHH  WTF?!

I appear again outside and a red hatchbacky car pulls up and my most recent ex boyfriend is in there with 3 weirdos because apparently, I'd texted him to ask him to take me home.  And I get in there and I realize pretty quick that he has ulterior motives and wants to "borrow" money, which in my experience meant he wanted to take some money and not pay me back.

Hopefully, Bella never literally tries to poo on my face.  B/c that's gross.  To say the least.